Inappropriate Hottie Rundown - The Obama Cabinet!

Rahm Emanuel - Chief of Staff!
What do you get when you put Ray Liotta's eyes on Adam Arkin's face? A congressman you wanna ram so hard you have to throw in an "H" for a little extra hotness. Carrying on the tradition of the famed erotic film series of which he almost shares a name, Rahm Emanuel has been bringing a softcore sensuality to congress since 2003. Obama has choo-choo-chosen this member of the tribe to be his chief of staff, and we can't blame him. Emanuel's been firming up our staff ever since he was named Chairman of the Democratic Caucus. One question Rahm, does the carpet match the salt and pepper drapes? 3.8 out of 4 Ed Meeses.

Janet Napolitano - Attorney General?
Another butch attorney general named Janet? Waco us up, we must be dreaming! Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano is one Italian Stallion we'd like to ride into the Tucson sunset. Like her democratic AG predecessor, Napolitano has the rugged good looks of a lady who isn't afraid to sick the ATF on your ass if she wants to get a look at your concealed weapon stash, if you know what we mean (we mean genitals). Points off for having a name that puts that "Joey" song back in our heads. 2.7 out of 4 Ed Meeses.

John Kerry - Secretary of State?
We voted for this Senator before we rubbed up against him. Looks like Captain Flip Flop is trying to find his way into that White House even if he has to drive a swift boat right through the front door. Points off for losing to Bush, but points on for being a Nam vet. John Kerry, pretend we're Charlie and stab us with your bayonet you craggy-faced mountain of moist. 3 out of 4 Ed Meeses.

Caroline Kennedy - Ambassador to the UN?
Oh damn. A Kennedy! Guess we won't be needing these underpants. Neil Diamond says he wrote Sweet Caroline about her, which means we're already used to getting drunk and screaming her name at the top of our lungs. She helped Obama with his VP search, but we're betting that's not the only kind of vice she's into (sorry). Seriously though, if we can drop the innuendo for just one second, she's JFK's daughter, she's hot, and we want to have intercourse with her. (We know Ambassador to UN isn't cabinet level, but we thought Caroline Kennedy belonged on this list a little more than, say, Tom Vilsack.) 4 out of 4 Ed Meeses.

Tim Geithner - Secretary of the Treasury?
Cha-Ching! As President of the NY Federal Reserve Bank, Tim Geithner knows how to put his money where your mouth is, and we'd like nothing more than for him to shove a fifty in between our lips when he's through with us. Geithner was warning folks that the market was gonna tank way back in 2005, giving off that "Let's have some end of the world sex" vibe. He's married with kids, but he looks like a cheater. Something about the half-smile, like he's hiding a naughty secret. 2.8 out of 4 Ed Meeses.

Colin Powell - Secretary of Defense?
Ten HUT! With his endorsement of Barack, Colin Powell came knocking on America's window in the middle of the night, begging us to take him back. "I know I lied to the UN baby," he whispered in that voice made of desert storm grit. "But I changed baby. I changed my lying ways. Come on baby, let me back in. I'll keep you safe tonight baby. Let me back in." We don't know about you America, but we just can't resist a bad boy who begs. 3.4 out of 4 Ed Meeses.